Today is our 8 year wedding anniversary. I honestly can not believe that it’s already been 8 years! My husband and I went to dinner last night at Scott Conant’s new restaurant The Ponte to celebrate because the rest of the week is too hectic with some family and work obligations. It was absolutely amazing! If you’re ever in the LA area, you should definitely try it out.
During dinner, it was nice to just spend time chatting. I know everyone says this about their husbands and significant others, but I really believe that my husband is the perfect person for me. I won’t go into the sappy details about why I believe it but I just do. But what I do what to share with you are some lessons I’ve learned and realized in the past 8 years.
Your husband can’t read your mind.
No matter how much you hint or passively/aggressively try to tell them something, they won’t get it unless you say what you want or need. I have to remind myself of this so that I don’t get upset over something that could have been avoided by just being direct.
Think about how you can be a blessing to the person.
Before we got married, we did premarital counseling with our pastor and I remember one of the things he said was to think about how you can be a blessing to your spouse. During the early years of marriage, it was easier to do that but as life got busier and more full, I started to fail miserably. Also, once A came into the picture- I was always feeling exhausted and it was just harder to be “nice” and try to be a blessing. It’s a constant battle with myself but one that I want to definitely work on.
In a way, it is something that I HAVE to work on, as I want this relationship to work. I’m not saying that it won’t, but I think that our married lives will be full of more joy if I know how to be a blessing to my spouse. The good thing is that we could always return to counseling if we needed to, we shouldn’t feel ashamed to ask for help. And even if we didn’t have the time, or we couldn’t leave the house for whatever reason, we can always look into telehealth services, (click for more information on how you can access counseling via telehealth) to try and get through our problems. Being a blessing to the person you are married to is definitely something that we should all be.
It’s ok if you go to bed without resolving conflict.
I used to freak out if we got into a fight or disagreement and didn’t get it resolved. My husband is gifted with the ability to sleep anytime, anywhere, and regardless of how he is feeling. I, on the other hand, can’t go to sleep after an argument. I would get really annoyed when my husband would be peacefully sleeping while I was stewing in my anger. But now if we argue, I can go to sleep because I know that in the end, we will get it resolved and I need all the sleep I can get.
Date nights are a must.
This is something we have to work on. I can count on one hand the number of times we have gone out on a date without A. We love our daughter but need to make the time to spend time as a couple.
No refunds. No exchanges.
When we first got married, my husband jokingly said that there were no refunds or exchanges once we got married. Little did I know how wise those words were. Marriage isn’t like Nordstrom where you take something back and get a refund or exchange it because you want something else or change your mind. It’s a commitment for life.
You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.- Sam Keen
This is one of my favorite quotes about relationships. It has always resonated with me and is something that I keep in my heart regarding my relationship with my husband. We are two imperfect beings who see each other perfectly (as perfectly as we can) and are perfect for each other. I am very thankful for him and can’t wait to celebrate even more years of marriage with him.
What are some lessons you’ve learned from being married?