I’ve been blogging for almost 6 years now and you would think by now, I would have it together and know what I am doing. But I don’t. This post isn’t a self deprecating post in order to gain your sympathy, pity or try to fish for compliments. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of years and why I think I’m the worst blogger.
When I first started this blog, I never thought I would be where I am. I’m not that far from where I started but I have had many wonderful opportunities and experiences thanks to this blog. I’ve met so many wonderful people (as well as not wonderful people) thanks to this blog and for that I am truly (hashtag) blessed.
But I still think I’m the worst blogger because of the following reasons. Bear with me folks.
I don’t write enough posts.
There have been spurts of inspiration throughout the life of this blog but they are often short lived. I think I get inside my head too much with imposter syndrome and don’t give myself enough credit. In the past, I used to compare myself with other bloggers and what they do and what they write about. But honestly, who cares. I don’t want to write about my latest obsession with a granola bar or why you need this particular laundry detergent unless I really am obsessed with that granola bar and if that laundry detergent will do my laundry for me. But I still don’t write enough posts and I’m unsure whether I’ll ever write enough posts, but one thing I can promise you is this: if I’m really obsessed with something- enough to write about it, I AM LITERALLY OBSESSED.
I’m not a go-getter.
This goes along with imposter syndrome but often times, I devalue myself, my work and what I’m capable of. So instead of pitching, selling and talking myself up all over the place, I often sit back and let opportunities come to me. My thought process is always this: If I am right for an opportunity, it will come. But I do think I need to put myself out there instead of just sitting.. and waiting.. and waiting.
I can be lazy.
I’ll be the first to admit it- I’m lazy. I love the idea of having a blog and the perks that being a blogger has given me but I am lazy. Because I homeschool my daughter, she is always with me. The pandemic has only made it worse with not having any time to myself. So instead of spending time working on a blog post, brainstorming, pinning, searching keywords, pitching, and thinking about my business- I rest. I zone out and binge Netflix shows like Bridgerton and Bling Empire. I put it off until tomorrow or the next day or the day after that.
I’m disillusioned by this blogging world.
When I first started blogging, I was so excited to share my story and things I loved. But then I realized there are 12030231203984120 other bloggers who want to share their story and the things that they love. What’s the point in sharing my thoughts? The point is that my voice is different from others. The point is that my audience and community is different that xyz blogger. My job is to serve my community. But here’s the dilemma. So many people in this space are fake. There I said it. They don’t serve their audience because they don’t have one- they just buy their likes, comments and views. It’s disheartening when you’re deemed not as “good” because your authentic likes and comments are not enough for some PR companies.
So Now What?
So what’s the worst blogger supposed to do? Well the thought of quitting has crossed my mind more than a few times. But then I think about all the wonderful Internet friends who DM me. I think of the people who email me to tell me that a blog post touched them. Or the comments from real followers who actually read my caption on an Instagram post to tell me that it encouraged them.
So this worst blogger (me)- keeps writing when things inspire her. She keeps going and is her authentic self even with the Instagram algorithm isn’t her friend. At the end of the day, I would rather use my influence to actually touch people and inspire than vs using it as clout or a way to humble brag about my accomplishments. I can’t promise you that I’ll write tons of blog posts every month. But I can promise you that I am being true to who I am. Thank you for being here.
Dress: Unique Vintage
Photography: Katie Pritchard Photography